Sunday, July 5, 2015

WWI #102 - Failing

Not a good week. I feel a bit like I've given up. The weekend was really bad as far as food and fitness, although the scale didn't shift much. Managed to drop the numbers a bit by mid-week, but then they rebounded for the official weigh-in on Friday. 

NUMBERS: Down .02 from last week. Average was exactly the same. Average intake was 2514. Average daily burn dropped to 2512 ... first time it's actually been under the average intake possibly ever. That equaled out to an overage of 2410 for the week. 

I'm not sure what's wrong with me of late. I'm feeling a bit down and discouraged. Still exercising, but not as much. Not getting in much variety, intensity. Just Zumba and Elliptical. I missed Zumba on Thursday and Friday again (and Sat/Sun are off days). No bike, no treadmill or track. No weights again this week. 

In addition to not getting as many workouts in, I also didn't stop and record them in my Daily Mile tracker. I always really try to catch up on my inputs by Sunday night, so that I start the week fresh. I got this notice on Monday. I've dropped drastically on my Fitbit friends list, and you might notice I haven't been blogging as much either. Fails.

I also failed on My Fitness Pal. I'm not sure what my streak was ... I hadn't missed a day logging food since I started over TWO YEARS ago. My streak was 750+ days I think. And then I missed a day. Saturday. I didn't log. I just didn't really think about it. There goes my streak. Now I know I could contact MFP with an excuse and get it reinstated, but I did miss a day. No excuses. I did log Saturday the next day, and have logged daily since.  So there's that ...

Here's the quick weekly recap ...
  • Friday (0626) I did attempt Zumba in the morning. Went to two different locations and it didn't happen. No Zumba :(  Did get in a little elliptical. Took the little boys bowling. The bigger boys returned home from their basketball camp in the evening.
  • Saturday (0627) Not very motivated today. Got in 20minutes elliptical, but that was all. Didn't really have anything keeping me busy during the day either :( Hubs worked all day making a water balloon filler. The boys wanted to try Dairy Queen in the evening ... that was a total waste of calories!
  • Sunday (0628) We all went to church today (sans Hubs who was working), then I got in a nice nap! In the evening we went out to my folks to play games. 
  • Monday (0629) Had Zumba at the backup church, smaller, but it was fun and intimate. Picked up a swimming pool for the duckies on the way home. #5 had basketball practice, and #3 and #4 went too, shooting hoops for the hour. Then we had some drama with a lost iphone, but luckily it was located. Also got in some elliptical.
  • Tuesday (0630) Zumba in the morning ... walked to and from. Took the boys (and a buddy) to the rec center to buy them a month pass, then they stayed and played basketball for several hours. I should have got some stuff done at home, but I just didn't know when they would call for pickup and it impacted my motivation and productivity. Did get in some elliptical.
  • Wednesday (0701) I usually attend a Zumba close by on Wednesdays, but the Southziders class needed an instructor and asked me to fill in, so I did. Got in some elliptical at home too. Took the boys to the rec center again today, although #3 went in the opposite direction, playing basketball at a church with his friends. A bit of chauffeur duty today.
  • Thursday (0702) Morning Zumba was taking the holiday week off. I could have hit a different class, but just didn't feel motivated enough to try. Took the boys to the dentist, ran some errands, dropped the boys at the rec center.  I did fit in an hour on the elliptical (in several small sessions). Went to Zumba in the evening, but it was only three of us, and our instructor had just had some surgery so she wasn't dancing. We did a couple practice numbers. 
 Pictures from the Week

 Games with Grandpa

Hubs and his new water balloon filler

The boys putting the water balloon filler to work

The duckies enjoying their new pool ...
A video posted by JenB (@jenblackham) on

Still struggling. I'm feeling fat, not liking what I see in the mirror or picture. But instead of fighting it I just seem to be giving up. I'm not feeling very motivated to move. I am wanting to eat all the time. Sometimes I do feel starving, even lightheaded, other times I'm just eating for comfort or craving. I have been noticing a bit more eating out as I write my journal entries, and I am continuing to record my food in My Fitness Pal, even though I blew my streak.  I'm not sure what needs to happen to get me back on track ...


  1. Hi, Jen. I've been following your blog for awhile and have seen you struggling the past few weeks. I've hesitated to say anything because I know it is always easy for someone else to try to say what to do.

    But, I really do want to try to help.

    First, I want to say that you have really inspired me in some of my exercise efforts. Your posts had a direct relationship to my upping my exercise about 3 months ago. And, when I don't want to exercise I often think of what you are able to do and think I'm just being a total wimp. Your activity level is truly inspiring.

    Now -- on the weight thing. I have no doubt that what I say will not surprise you. Your issue here is not your exercise. Your issue is the calories you are eating. You don't have enough of a calorie deficit to lose much weight. It really is just that.

    Now, it is true that you are undoubtedly more active than most people working on weight loss. And, so you can eat more calories than, say, I could eat. But, there is also a limit to that. If you were eating 1800 calories a day (an imaginably high amount that I would gain weight on), I would expect to see you losing weight.

    I am sure that with your activity level you are hungrier than those who aren't as active. I think there is a balance somewhere there where you can be active so you burn more calories, but you also eat less so that you have a calorie deficit that is larger. And bear in mind that calories burned from the Fitbit and calories eaten in MFP aren't all that precise. I always lose less than those numbers would say I would lose.

    I'm not sure what the best way is for you to cut calories. Some can do well just eating less of the same foods. For me, I actually needed to change some of what I eat (I did a blog post on this a week or two ago). I needed to develop a love of some of the healthier, lower calorie foods so that I didn't eat so much of the foods I used to love.

    For me, what ultimately got me back on track in 2013 was that I really decided to commit to making the weight loss a priority that was more important than eating X food that I really loved. And, then I had to learn how to change some of my food preferences so I could that and be happy.

    Anyway, hope some of this helps.

    1. Thanks for reading and taking time to comment Kitty. You are right on the mark, I KNOW that ... It's not just the quantity of calories, but quality too. 1800 should be totally doable (1200, now I don't know how people survive on that!), my goal is even to just stay under 2000, but then there is a cookie, or chips and ice cream and I just have to have some! Back last Fall, when school started up again, I had some success in eating less, and the weight dropped. I'm not sure what I did then to help me (I do think the return to the schedule of school and such helped me get back on track), but I've had some success in summers before, even though they are harder for me. I am SO bad at the eating! It scares me a little, if I were to get sick or injured and not be able to keep up the activity, how fast would the weight pile on then?

    2. I know you know and it is hard. I also think that for me when I get to a not quite where I want to be weight, but way better than I was, I sometimes lose intensity. I had a plateau of several months late last year where I was constantly going up a pound or two then down a pound or two and made no progress. I had lost almost 50 pounds then and things just weren't as dire so I wasn't as intense.

      Two things have helped me the most (not saying they will help you, but just giving some thoughts):

      1. At the start of this year I really seriously thought about what I wanted and whether I was happy where I was. I wasn't. I recognized that weight loss down to my goal wasn't going to happen if I didn't make it a priority over things like cookies, chips, etc. When I've thought about indulging more than I had planned (I do still indulge to a point!), I've tried to consciously think about my goal and how doing that won't help me achieve my goal.

      2. Truly developing tastes for things other than the higher calorie, junky food. I had a great salad that I made at home the other day. It was wonderful and I really loved it. But, it wasn't high calorie. I've finally developed tastes for some things like that which are lower calorie. The more I have them the less I think about what I'm missing. I think more about what I am eating that is great.

      3. I do still indulge but I have "rules" that help me. I love cookies. If I buy cookies or bake cookies, I will overeat them. So, I just don't do it. I only will have cookies away from home (1 cookie) or occasionally at home IF there is a group who will immediately consume all of them. I do this with chips as well. I have chips when I eat at Panera but don't buy bags for the house at all. My daughter (who is thin) likes chips. I do let her have them sometimes, but she has to keep them in a separate drawer in the kitchen so I don't see them. I also think of them as "her" chips and I don't even think to eat them. Basically, I still indulge in some of these foods but I do much better just not having that kind of food around the house. I also rarely go to the restaurants where I have trouble controlling what I eat. Maybe I go to those restaurants every six months. The rest of the time I go to restaurants that are good, but where I find it easy to stay eating what it is better for me to eat.

  2. Just keep taking it one day at a time. You'll get your mojo back!


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