May ... Maybe

I'm getting these little notifications here and there ..."so&so is now following you on Bloglovin" and I think "Really? Why?" It's been a while since I've been anything inspirational. My weight is at an all time high. I haven't been motivated much. While I did get back to some Zumba (three days a week) I've been struggling with other exercise (usually just a two mile walk, instead of the hour elliptical and weights I'd done in the past) and eating? Not even tracking ...

... and not really blogging either!

At least not here. Ironically, through the years - I was really good at keeping up with my "JenB'sJourney" blog, and not so much the family blog. Now? I've gone back to the family blog with a passion, and started up an extended family blog (Mother's Day present for my mom) ... so just a head's up. In addition to my lapse in food/fitness, my blogging focus has shifted too.There likely won't be many updates from here on out. Maybe just some TV/Movies posts, or book blogging, something I would like to get down, but not necessarily on the family blog. Posts I've had on my brain but never got around to. We'll see.

As far as exercise and eating ... I have to admit to giving up. And I can't even blame it on Covid-19. I hit my (weight) high in January, before Coronavirus was anything but a background thing. My food and fitness struggles started long before (beyond just the regular life struggles all the time, has it ever NOT been a struggle?) I think it was last Fall when it broke down. It's usually my best time. Back on a school schedule, I'm often motivated out of the summer slump. This year (Fall2019) though ...

• Depression and Anxiety: Not so much me, but my son (although it IS me too). We've struggled for years, but the transition to high school didn't happen. After two-days, we switched to online schooling. Lots of hard days, doctor appointments, etc.
• School and Sitting: With #4 learning from home, I was much more involved, almost a personal tutor, learning some assignments myself before helping him with them. LOTS of time parked in front of a computer ... where I tend to find myself reaching for things to snack on.
• Another Broken Foot: #2 broke his foot ... again. He'd had back to back breaks several years ago. Now, not only was #4 home, but #2 was too (for a few weeks, then back to work in a boot). Doctor appointments, and it was a very depressing time for him. Then, he repeated the back-to-back break theme and broke it again in January!
• Grandma Gone: Hub's mother passed away, completely unexpected! The emotion, the funeral, dealing with the trust (granted the other siblings handled most of it). Hubs has had a hard time.
• Totaled Truck: #3 was in a car accident on Thanksgiving. Not hurt, but ... dealing with the insurance and everything dragged on and on and on. Seriously, just wrapped things up with the replacement vehicle last month.
• Fitbit Phases: If you look back at my "Monthly Collage" images with each post, up until the Fall, there was an "intake vs burn" graph from Fitbit. For 10+ years, there was that goal to keep the "burn" above the "intake" ... to keep those lines from touching. July2019 was the last month that graph was there. When I went to make my collage the next month, the graph - was gone. Granted, I could input the numbers and make my own (I'd done it before, and I did it for a couple months before just bagging it) ... but instead, my motivation for tracking my food (as I have to do it manually in MFP, it's a lot of work!) was gone. My calorie counting slipped without that graph to motivate me. I'm a numbers, data gal. There seems to be a correlation between counting calories and weight gain ... hmmmmmm. 

Then ... add in this Coronavirus situation! I'm already a homebody, so I'm affected less than many. But my Zumba ... it shut down.  My motivation with my tech and trackers went away ... Lifecycle didn't mean much, because I wasn't going anywhere. Whereas I'd use various apps to mark when I'd exercise and such, I started to let that slide too. Still inputting data on my records, but, we'll see if I keep that up. #4 is a homebody too, already doing online school but #5 (8th grade) had to transition (easy peasy for him though) and #3's college classes moved online. Hubs and all the boys were still able to continue to work, so we did not have the financial stress and strain impacting many. But the overall impact still hits, the worry, and the it's hard not to get down and give up with the state of the world and all the divisiveness about absolutely everything!

There are other things too (D) ... but isn't that enough? I know I should push though, that exercise and eating right should/would/could improve the situation, but it's hard to stay motivated.  So, not sure when the next post will be, or what topics might make it onto the blog from now on.

Meanwhile, keeping with consistency ... books from May

Been watching "Black Sails" while on the treadmill ...