Home Alone 3

The family went on vacation.

I spent 10 days home alone. 

Luckily there were no bad guys to battle.

My husband has been bitten by the travel bug ... unfortunately, I'm allergic to that particular bug bite. Okay, not really, but I don't travel well. We've been able to adapt, and Hubs gets a bit of his bite attended to by traveling to or with his brother and their family. While it's not an official, annual trip, Hubs and the boys have been making the trek out to Seattle several times the past few years. This year marks my 3rd Home Alone staycation.

I made the first couple trips, when my BIL lived in Portland. Then they moved to Seattle. I never made it there. The first trip was in 2010. Fellow homebody #4 sat out the trip staying with me, so I wasn't alone that year. Then in 2013, Hubs and all five boys were off, leaving me Home Alone.  They went again the next year (Seattle 2014), that was Home Alone 2. In 2015, Hubs hit Europe (with his BIL and family) and that was the vacation for that summer. A Seattle trip was planned for 2016, but Hubs backed out at the last minute (Meniere's had been acting up). But 2017 ... it was on. This time, the whole family (sans myself) was flying. First time on an airplane for the two littles. I was home alone for 10 days. I know many a mommy wishes for "some" alone time. This was a little long, but Daddy and the boys kept in touch and I was able to enjoy the vacation vicariously.

I've documented this year's vacation on the family blog. Here at home ...

• EXERCISE: Didn't increase dramatically like it did when I was Home Alone in 2013. I got in my Zumba class Mon-Fri and did do some Sat/Sun on my own (which I usually don't if everyone is around). No one to battle for gym time, so I did pretty good hitting elliptical, treadmill, bike and weights while they were gone. Hubs said he managed to get in several runs during the vacation.
• EATING: Stayed pretty much the same ... it sure would have been a struggle on the trip! Between simply snacking a lot, and me just not liking stuff (Hubs had to make some special arrangements for #5 when he didn't like the location they were eating at, but I've much worse). I went out to eat twice ... my MIL took me to dinner, and I met my mom for lunch one afternoon. I made my mint brownies, so those were around to tempt me the entire time. I tried to be good, and had some good days ... but also had some days that were uber over.
• SLEEP: Hubs is an early to bed boy (as he's almost always up early too) and I generally try to shut down and join him, even if I'm just reading in bed. When he's gone ... I tend to stay up later, and that was true in this case. Some sleeping in, but really no different than the usual summer schedule. I grabbed a couple naps in the quiet house too.
• MOMMY DUTIES: With the family gone, many of my daily "chores" all but disappeared! When the guys first left, I did a pretty good house cleaning and ... it stays clean with just me around. Whereas laundry and dishes are usually a daily duty,  it was only needed a time or two these 10 days. Shopping was impacted ... I had to make sure I didn't overbuy before the boys left.  Anything perishable wouldn't last. I did a decent cleanout of the fridge. I still hit the store a time or two, and then restocked right before they got back. Making the bed was easier, with only half of it being used each night... and I'll admit I left it unmade some of the time. Lawn mowing requirements were the same. One job I had to take over was changing the kitty litter ... usually #4's job. 
• OTHER ACTIVITIES: With no boys around, I admit I did a little sun-bathing in the back yard. With all my mowing and yard work in a tank top, my shoulders were already quite tan. I slipped on a swim suit and let my bottom half catch up a bit (with my head and shoulders in the shade for comfort). I did get in a bit of reading while sunning ... although the weather didn't quite cooperate. It's been a bit of a joke that as the boys go to Seattle, Utah gets hit with Seattle weather! Several rainy and overcast days (but no flooding as happened in 2014 ... at least not at our home. There WAS flooding in the Sugarhouse area.) I also went and got my nails done. I watched three movies (streaming, I generally don't get around to movies, just TV series while I work out). I had planned to catching up on some blogging, but only got a few posts done. LOTS of reading!

 My New Nails

I laughed a little, as Hubs had forgotten to notify the credit card companies of his travel plans. He managed to set off fraud alerts on both cards (we were able to get it resolved so he could continue to spend $$!) Hubs and the boys sent pictures, videos and texts to keep me up to date on their adventures. Also checking in to make sure I was alive and well here at home. Alone.

Vacation Steps - 35k in a Day

I am not one for vacations. My anxieties kick in just thinking about it. The hours of travel, the unfamiliar and crowded tourist destinations, the food (I'm super picky). I'm just a homebody. My BIL and his family are on the opposite end of the scale. They planned out a month long European vacation for this summer. London, Paris, Italy, Rome, and Barcelona. My MIL joined them for the first leg of the trip, and my hubs decided to join them on the last leg. His passport arrived July 7, he left July 8 ... he was supposed to be back tonight, but a long line at customs and security made him miss his flight, so we won't get him home until tomorrow. :(  I have enjoyed his vacation vicariously though. 

Hubs currently has a Fitbit Zip, which is a nice device for traveling. It doesn't need charging, as it has a regular, replaceable battery. I went into his Fitbit account and changed his settings to adjust to the eight hour time difference. The first days were travel and travel recuperation ... then he met up with his brother and his family and ...

That was quite a day! Over 35K in steps! That earned him a new Fitbit badge for most steps walked in a day. That was their biggest day, but he continued to rack up impressive step counts as they saw all the sights.  Of course that also resulted in this ...

 

 

 OUCH!

  Some of the sights ...

 

LATE dinners ...

 Traditional snacks still ...

...and LOTS of gelato!

 

We'll have to see which wins out for a weigh-in ...
all the walking, or all the eating!

Hubs did pull ahead on the Fitbit steps. I just could not keep up with all his activity (no actual "exercise" though). Hubs was pretty proud as he took over the #1 spot. He had to send me this screen grab :) Of course, today, he's been on planes all day, and I have retaken the lead (and #2 son slipped into #1 position for a bit before I took it over again). 

It's been the summer of Hub's European vacation ...
but I'm ready to have him home again!

Gray Goes To Europe
(Family Blog Post - link to MORE pictures)

A Vicarious and Virtual Vacation

This week, my guys are in New York City. My brother-in-law was taking his family, so Hubby decided to take the two older boys and his mom and join them. I was invited ... but I'm NOT in a New York state of mind. I am overwhelmed easily and New York City is, well, overwhelming. I have a slight panic attack even thinking about it.

I'm not afraid of flying, but I don't do well at sitting still. Road trips or plane rides are hard on me for that reason. I don't do well in crowds. I can't stand standing in lines. I am a creature of routine. I like schedules and complete control. I mentioned my vacation issues once before (here) ... that trip, I stayed home alone and I don't regret that decision. I did go on the Disneyland trip a couple years ago (Fall 2012). The "Happiest Place on Earth" ...  not for me. I think that was actually the trigger of a depression that packed on 20 pounds.

I'm trying to examine if it's my anxiety overriding everything. If I talked to my doctor, would medication and/or counseling help to overcome some of my issues? Or is it just me? Even if I weren't anxious and afraid, it's just not really the sort of thing I enjoy. I stress about the cost $$ the entire time. There are fitness/food ramifications as well ... I need to exercise. I NEED my exercise endorphins. Seriously. Any sort of vacation is going to disrupt that (although the boys walked so much on Sunday, that they beat me in steps ... I posted a comparison in our Fitbit charts on Monday).

And the eating ...

I have a hard enough time controlling calories here at home ... on vacation when you are eating out for every meal and indulging.  The boys are raving about the food, but that's another of my issues. I'm so picky.  I'm not sure I would have been able to find anything I liked at the places they've gone (I'm not a pizza or burger gal).  I'm really hoping they don't bring home that big (5pound) chocolate bar. Hubby brought that back year when he made a trip to the Hershey Store.

The actual reason behind the trip was to go see Les Miserables. A fellow we went to high school with (Will Swenson) is playing Javart.  Will and my BIL have stayed close friends over the years. I knew Will quite well too. We were in many productions together back in my acting days...

A Christmas Carol (left) and 42nd Street (right).

He also took me to prom.

That was my one regret. I LOVE Les Miserables, and it would have been great to see Will in it. But I didn't want it enough to overcome my anxieties and issues (hubby even asked if I'd want to fly in JUST for the show). But the cost would be too high. Time, $$, emotional breakdown. Besides, someone needed to stay and take care of the younger kids. The New Yorkers went to see the show yesterday ... Hubby said it was awesome (he loves LesMiz as much as I do). I have yet to hear what the 18-year old thought. Apparently the 15-year old fell asleep. 

Rambling a bit ... but it is Thursday, 

and Thursdays are for Thinking Out Loud.

Am I the only woman in the world who would say NO to a trip to New York?
How do you feel about vacations?
Do you love Les Miserables?

Home Alone

A little while ago, I posted about the upcoming family vacation. The image above WAS my response to learning of such plans. I really debated staying or going, and ultimately I decided to stay home.  It wasn't so much that I needed a break and wanted the time to myself. It was the car ride, the eating issues, comforts of home (I'm talking toilets here... and my bed and A/C), and how easily overwhelmed I get out of my usual routine. Hubby was very understanding. A couple of the kids (my mama's boys) were a bit dismayed by my decision, but I figured this would be a good thing for them too. They were off ... and I was home alone.

It was very quiet. I went ahead and cleaned the house and guess what? It STAYED clean! I had oodles of time to exercise, and exercise I did. I had several 30k days. Exercise-wise, I got in a lot more than I usually do with the family around, a TON more than I would have gotten had I gone on the trip (I don't think I would have gotten any in). I did miss my ping pong partners though. Food-wise, the home alone time went both ways. On the one hand, I wasn't constantly being asked/expected to make high calorie items (for example, every Sunday I make Belgian waffles for breakfast and homemade oreos for dessert after dinner).  I wasn't in the kitchen much at all. No Friday night date going out to eat or to the movies, no donuts on Saturday morning. No ordering out for pizza (not that I eat pizza, see my Eating Issues post, but I LOVE cheesy bread). No mac&cheese or peanut butter sandwiches (I'd never make them for me, but I always seem to have just a little nibble as I prep them for the kidlets). I could just eat MY foods and try to make healthy choices. But then ... I was a little lonely, and feeling a bit like a bad mother/wife/sister-in-law/daughter-in-law and emotional eating came into play a bit. Also, I'd never just take a full bag of chips as I caught up on the computer, or eat straight from the ice cream carton ... but with no one around to catch me or judge ... But again, compared to the eating  I WOULD have done on the trip  (snacking in the car, going out to eat) I'm sure I still came in ahead here at home. 

It's interesting to think about how much others impact our exercise and eating. 

Sometimes for the good, sometimes for the bad. 

I got in a little sunshine.

I can't really do that with the boys around.

It was interesting to note how my sleep habits shifted. Normally, Hubby (and therefore me too) is an "early to bed and early to rise" type of person. We are usually in bed by 10:00. He's up uber early ... ok, I'll admit I've been sleeping in this summer, but during the school year I'm always up by 6:00 or 6:30.

With everyone gone, I'd often pull a late workout, then work on the blog or read or something. I stayed up past midnight most nights (which is very unlike me!). And then with no one around ... it was some major sleeping in. I've spend some nights without hubby before (as he'd go on trips for work or scouts), but I'd never been completely alone in the house at night before. 

And here is what I missed ...

 The car ride is literally better without me there.

Then #1 can sit in the front, 

and #3 isn't squished in the back with the little ones.

16+ hours (one way)

The Space Needle with cousins. 

 Orcas Island ... camping and lake fun.

The family is still on the road on the way back, but they will be home today. I plan on having some homemade oreos ready and waiting. I hope they missed me a little bit. I'll be happy to have hubby home. Back to the chaos of being mom to these five great boys. It's the final week of summer. There's back to school night, orthodontist appointments, last minute school shopping (I did some while they were gone) and whatever fun we want to squeeze into these last few days. 

Can I Take a Vacation from the Vacation?

"Vacation. All I ever wanted. Vacation.  Had to get away"

 That's the Go-Go's singing. Not me.  

I'm just a homebody at heart. 

We didn't do a lot of family vacations when I was young. I wonder if I'd be different if I'd been raised as a traveler. My first trip to Disneyland was with my choir group in high school.  I'd never been on an airplane until I was in my mid-20s.  I'm not afraid of flying, but the lines, the waits, the cost... just makes it unappealing to me. Of course a car is even worse. I DO have extreme anxiety in cars, even as a passenger. Being on the road for hours is torture to me.

I HAVE gone on vacation ... hubby and I went to a dude ranch in Wickenburg, Arizona where we rode horses, shot skeet and floated in a hot air balloon. We went to Florida where we tried parasailing and swam with the dolphins. We went to Cancun and saw the sites. So ... I think I'm done now *Ü*

I don't have many pictures from these vacations ...

I didn't like pictures when I was overweight.

This was 2005. 

Mexico.

For family vacations, we've gone to Oregon a couple of times (hubby's brother lived there). We've taken the crew to Disneyland twice. There have been smaller trip to Moab and Bear Lake. There were good memories made, pictures taken. But every trip has the inevitable stressful stuff that seriously impacts my enjoyment. I'm do tend to have the rosy glow looking back, remembering the good more than the bad. But during the vacation, I often can't wait for it to end and fade into just the happy memories.

Oregon - 2006

Disneyland - 2009

A couple years ago, when Hubby planned a trip to Seattle (where his brother's family lives now) I just did not have it in me to make the 16+ hour drive there- and that's just one way! I elected to sit this vacation out. Child #4 (mama's boy and fellow homebody) decided to sit it out with me. The others went and had a great time. Back at home, we homebodies kept ourselves entertained and comfortable in our routine. I never regretted my decision. There were plenty of pictures from the trip and I felt I enjoyed it more vicariously than I would have had I actually been there.

Last Fall, we received early Christmas gifts ... tickets to Disneyland. This was to be a vacation with extended family (Grandparents, Aunts/Uncles, cousins - although not all could attend).  Again ... I really debated staying home, but in the end I decided to try it.  The car ride actually wasn't too bad. I planned ahead with a portable DVD player, some audio books, and some Valium from my doctor.  I probably should have taken a pill at the park. The crowds, the lines, the chaos. The "Happiest Place on Earth"? Not for me. I really tried to put on a happy face, but I wasn't always successful. I did regret coming and think it would have been better to have everyone wish I was there, than to wish I wasn't there :(

The whole trip, the stress before, the depression after ... it really affected my eating and exercise. I just gave up a couple of weeks before the trip. What did it matter? I'd be spending hours sitting stationary in the car. While there is a lot of walking around the parks, there is also a LOT of just standing around in lines. My Fitbit Ultra was cracking a bit ... a worried it might fall off, or that it would get wet on one of the water rides. So I left it home. I took my Omron pedometer, but wouldn't you know it, it's battery died the first day. So I got no feedback for the steps I was taking. It was discouraging. Why not indulge in an overpriced churro or two?  Even if I had been trying to eat healthy, it would have been hard when the only options are fast food or snack items stashed at the hotel.  I gained 10+ pounds in just a couple months before/after Disney.

... So, guess what's on the calendar? Another family Seattle trip. What to do ...

I've been doing so well these last couple of months. I feel like I'm just in the habit forming stages. I've tracked every day on MFP for 85 days now. I'm down almost 20 pounds from where I was mid-May.   I wouldn't mind trying kayaking, but I'm not one for jogging on the beach or biking on the open road.  I know I wouldn't get in any "exercise" for an entire week. I NEED my exercise. I'm seriously addicted to it. And I have extreme eating issues, I don't want to have to have everyone plan menus around me ... but I don't want to starve or subsist on granola bars either.  Of course the car ride is the most daunting part ...

Child #3 and #4 have both inherited Mommy's anxieties (I'm SO sorry!). I'm not sure if they are up for the trip either. If I stay home, that gives them a choice.  If I go, they go. If I don't go, would they be ok without me there? If they go ... will I be ok home alone?

"Should I Stay or Should I Go" ... I opened this post with a song, and shall close with a song (it's by The Clash by the way, just in case you wanted to know) ... although I AM singing this one myself.

Does anyone else not like vacations, or is it just me?