Sunday, August 11, 2013

Can I Take a Vacation from the Vacation?

"Vacation. All I ever wanted. Vacation.  Had to get away"

 That's the Go-Go's singing. Not me.  
I'm just a homebody at heart. 

We didn't do a lot of family vacations when I was young. I wonder if I'd be different if I'd been raised as a traveler. My first trip to Disneyland was with my choir group in high school.  I'd never been on an airplane until I was in my mid-20s.  I'm not afraid of flying, but the lines, the waits, the cost... just makes it unappealing to me. Of course a car is even worse. I DO have extreme anxiety in cars, even as a passenger. Being on the road for hours is torture to me.

I HAVE gone on vacation ... hubby and I went to a dude ranch in Wickenburg, Arizona where we rode horses, shot skeet and floated in a hot air balloon. We went to Florida where we tried parasailing and swam with the dolphins. We went to Cancun and saw the sites. So ... I think I'm done now *Ü*

I don't have many pictures from these vacations ...
I didn't like pictures when I was overweight.
This was 2005. 

For family vacations, we've gone to Oregon a couple of times (hubby's brother lived there). We've taken the crew to Disneyland twice. There have been smaller trip to Moab and Bear Lake. There were good memories made, pictures taken. But every trip has the inevitable stressful stuff that seriously impacts my enjoyment. I'm do tend to have the rosy glow looking back, remembering the good more than the bad. But during the vacation, I often can't wait for it to end and fade into just the happy memories.

Oregon - 2006

Disneyland - 2009

A couple years ago, when Hubby planned a trip to Seattle (where his brother's family lives now) I just did not have it in me to make the 16+ hour drive there- and that's just one way! I elected to sit this vacation out. Child #4 (mama's boy and fellow homebody) decided to sit it out with me. The others went and had a great time. Back at home, we homebodies kept ourselves entertained and comfortable in our routine. I never regretted my decision. There were plenty of pictures from the trip and I felt I enjoyed it more vicariously than I would have had I actually been there.

Last Fall, we received early Christmas gifts ... tickets to Disneyland. This was to be a vacation with extended family (Grandparents, Aunts/Uncles, cousins - although not all could attend).  Again ... I really debated staying home, but in the end I decided to try it.  The car ride actually wasn't too bad. I planned ahead with a portable DVD player, some audio books, and some Valium from my doctor.  I probably should have taken a pill at the park. The crowds, the lines, the chaos. The "Happiest Place on Earth"? Not for me. I really tried to put on a happy face, but I wasn't always successful. I did regret coming and think it would have been better to have everyone wish I was there, than to wish I wasn't there :(

The whole trip, the stress before, the depression after ... it really affected my eating and exercise. I just gave up a couple of weeks before the trip. What did it matter? I'd be spending hours sitting stationary in the car. While there is a lot of walking around the parks, there is also a LOT of just standing around in lines. My Fitbit Ultra was cracking a bit ... a worried it might fall off, or that it would get wet on one of the water rides. So I left it home. I took my Omron pedometer, but wouldn't you know it, it's battery died the first day. So I got no feedback for the steps I was taking. It was discouraging. Why not indulge in an overpriced churro or two?  Even if I had been trying to eat healthy, it would have been hard when the only options are fast food or snack items stashed at the hotel.  I gained 10+ pounds in just a couple months before/after Disney.

... So, guess what's on the calendar? Another family Seattle trip. What to do ...

I've been doing so well these last couple of months. I feel like I'm just in the habit forming stages. I've tracked every day on MFP for 85 days now. I'm down almost 20 pounds from where I was mid-May.   I wouldn't mind trying kayaking, but I'm not one for jogging on the beach or biking on the open road.  I know I wouldn't get in any "exercise" for an entire week. I NEED my exercise. I'm seriously addicted to it. And I have extreme eating issues, I don't want to have to have everyone plan menus around me ... but I don't want to starve or subsist on granola bars either.  Of course the car ride is the most daunting part ...

Child #3 and #4 have both inherited Mommy's anxieties (I'm SO sorry!). I'm not sure if they are up for the trip either. If I stay home, that gives them a choice.  If I go, they go. If I don't go, would they be ok without me there? If they go ... will I be ok home alone?

"Should I Stay or Should I Go" ... I opened this post with a song, and shall close with a song (it's by The Clash by the way, just in case you wanted to know) ... although I AM singing this one myself.

Does anyone else not like vacations, or is it just me?

1 comment:

  1. I think talking to your children to see what they want to do is the best bet since you said it might stress out 3 & 4.


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