...I did not struggle with weight growing up, but after getting married and having five kids, I had moved solidly into the "overweight" population. In 2006 I was able to lose the extra pounds (50 of them) and get to goal. But staying there, that is another story. Slow but steady, the weight has crept back on over the years. So here we go again ...
Thursday, April 10, 2014
A Vicarious and Virtual Vacation
This week, my guys are in New York City. My brother-in-law was taking his family, so Hubby decided to take the two older boys and his mom and join them. I was invited ... but I'm NOT in a New York state of mind. I am overwhelmed easily and New York City is, well, overwhelming. I have a slight panic attack even thinking about it.
I'm not afraid of flying, but I don't do well at sitting still. Road trips or plane rides are hard on me for that reason. I don't do well in crowds. I can't stand standing in lines. I am a creature of routine. I like schedules and complete control. I mentioned my vacation issues once before (here) ... that trip, I stayed home alone and I don't regret that decision. I did go on the Disneyland trip a couple years ago (Fall 2012). The "Happiest Place on Earth" ... not for me. I think that was actually the trigger of a depression that packed on 20 pounds.
I'm trying to examine if it's my anxiety overriding everything. If I talked to my doctor, would medication and/or counseling help to overcome some of my issues? Or is it just me? Even if I weren't anxious and afraid, it's just not really the sort of thing I enjoy. I stress about the cost $$ the entire time. There are fitness/food ramifications as well ... I need to exercise. I NEED my exercise endorphins. Seriously. Any sort of vacation is going to disrupt that (although the boys walked so much on Sunday, that they beat me in steps ... I posted a comparison in our Fitbit charts on Monday).
And the eating ...
I have a hard enough time controlling calories here at home ... on vacation when you are eating out for every meal and indulging. The boys are raving about the food, but that's another of my issues. I'm so picky. I'm not sure I would have been able to find anything I liked at the places they've gone (I'm not a pizza or burger gal). I'm really hoping they don't bring home that big (5pound) chocolate bar. Hubby brought that back year when he made a trip to the Hershey Store.
The actual reason behind the trip was to go see Les Miserables. A fellow we went to high school with (Will Swenson) is playing Javart. Will and my BIL have stayed close friends over the years. I knew Will quite well too. We were in many productions together back in my acting days...
A Christmas Carol (left) and 42nd Street (right).
He also took me to prom.
That was my one regret. I LOVE Les Miserables, and it would have been great to see Will in it. But I didn't want it enough to overcome my anxieties and issues (hubby even asked if I'd want to fly in JUST for the show). But the cost would be too high. Time, $$, emotional breakdown. Besides, someone needed to stay and take care of the younger kids. The New Yorkers went to see the show yesterday ... Hubby said it was awesome (he loves LesMiz as much as I do). I have yet to hear what the 18-year old thought. Apparently the 15-year old fell asleep.